Monday, December 17, 2012

December 17,2012

Basically I can't think straight because President just emailed and said we can use skype. Sister L had told me that he didn't like the way it made missionaries so homesick and so they didn't get to use it before, but I am SOOOO excited to be able to see you all!! OH my gosh I can't even express how excited I am!!! Here is the email bit from president, "We have just received the guidelines for Christmas day communication with family.  You have one hour to either talk on the telephone or Skype with parents and immediate family.  We are allowed one call, so try and get as many family members together as possible on one call. To Skype, we suggest you work with a member family to use their computer.  As always, companions are to stay close-by while on the computer.  If using the telephone, you may also try and work something out with a member family to use their phone.  Our Church phones should not be used because of high costs during the weekdays.  So you might consider getting a calling card if calling out from a member phone, or calling collect to family.  Also, your family back home might consider their own calling card to use."

Missionary work here: we are lately doing a lot of reactivation. We keep knocking into members who the ward here doesn't have record of. So we are doing a lot of that, but it is nice. The worth of EVERY soul is great in the sight of God. Also the ward members are amazing! We got 6 referrals this past week! SIX! that has never happened for me before! Some weeks we get none but this is so nice! We do have a bit of a slower load with a lot of our inv. being students and them going home for the holiday, but it is just time to focus on finding! But the work is amazing, this Church is true, and I am loving it here! 

I am over my sickness now. Slowly my appetite came back. We had interviews with President on Thursday and he told me that I looked different and asked if I lost weight. Wowzer right? But I am feeling well now!! 

I'm not sure what else to say so I'll just attach pictures now! love you all! Merry Christmas!

Picture of me with L's kids with hand puppets :) Santa and reindeer.
Picture of the tree one of our investigators gave us! Nicest, softest tree ever! The bow on top and then me too! 
Love you all!!







Monday, December 10, 2012

December 10, 2012

Guess what?!? We woke up to SNOW this morning!! How crazy is that!! Very fun for us here, since we have been having weather in the 70's most of this December. It was just enough snow to cover the ground, and I'm pretty sure it will melt by the end of the day, but it made it feel like the holiday season for once! 

Mom, I forgot to tell you I did get your Christmas package at the Christmas Zone Conference, I brought it back to the apartment and didn't open it for a full day until Sister Smith realized her gifts were all wrapped, so then I opened mine to see if my gifts were wrapped (which they were!) And we put them all out under the tree! I still am so excited to be able to have my real Christmas gift: To talk to you all!!! I am so excited, and it feels like it won't be real and I know it is going to go by way to fast, but I'll cherish it nonetheless.

Well my updates for the week is that I know the new diet! It's called lose about 3 pounds in one week! Do two days of fasting and then have 3 days of being sick with no appetite and wala: before you know it you can see all your ribs! Yep, I got sick this weekend! And I was doing so well at not being homesick and nothing brings more thoughts of home then being stuck in bed all day! All I wanted was my mama. :( But I am feeling much better today and am going to get right back into the swing of things so that my thoughts will be busy again. And I'm not sure what I was struck down with. I never actually threw up, but I sure did not want to eat, and standing up made me woosy, and I had the chills (so much fun right?) I slept about 16 hours on Friday and after not being able to concentrate during our two lessons that night I went home and back to bed and slept till 11 am the next day. I then got a blessing from the elders (there is nothing worse than being sick as a missionary, you are limited to what to do with your extra time, and it just does nothing for any of your purpose) and went back to bed after the elders came for about 3 hours, and then kept myself awake so I could sleep at night. I then got a 12 hour sleep that night and went to church yesterday. Breakfast before church was the first real meal (yes cheerios) I had basically had all weekend. So then after church we went and visited a few people and I went to bed last night and had another 12 hours of sleep. I dunno what was up with me, but I am feeling more normal today. Which I am so grateful for. This weekend was awful, but now that I have put in my sick time, I call that I don't get sick for the rest of my mission (a girl can hope right?)

So with me being sick this weekend I have seen the proof that nothing works quite as well as work. We only had one investigator at church on Sunday. :( Yes, it is up to them, but it would have helped to have us there to invite them. But it just puts a new fire in me to do my best this week. 

I'm not sure what else to update you on. The ward is doing amazing! This week we have dinner appointments every night! We are getting referrals like crazy which means that our time is being well spent which is so rewarding! Our investigator teaching pool is great, if we can just get people to come to church. It is all about their desire. My favorite thing is when our investigators start giving us referrals. It is a sign that they are being converted when they want others to know their happiness too! It is the best! 

Oh! One excitement from this week is that before C left to go home he had us meet with his friend who has been telling him how awful our church is. She just wanted to bible bash, and it was quite nerve racking, but we held the meeting at a member's house, and after they left they said we did a good job. We taught her the plan of salvation, and until we taught her I have never realized the whole truths we have. Or I guess how confused some people are. She said that angels and humans are different. Like a dog and a human. That they never get bodies. And people get really worked up when we talk about works. How we need to have good works, but they say it is only Jesus Christ that saves us and our works don't matter. But when we really do turn to Jesus our works will change? Which is such a hard concept to grasp.  I am so grateful that we have a clear perception of the "primary" answers to allow us return again to our Father in Heaven. She had me shaking out of nerves by the end of that lesson, but hopefully one day she will remember and see the things that ring true. All in a days work right? 

Mom I am grateful for your thought about faith in God's plan. It's true. This is difficult, but it's like a message Kate sent me:  "Every day on your mission you think about home, then every day for the rest of your life you think about your mission." 

I love and miss you all! I love you all! Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo Sister P.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

December 4, 2012

The reason I am writing today and not yesterday is because we had Christmas Zone Conference. We didn't know about it last Monday or else I would have let you know. We had it in Lubbock with half the mission! And I hung out with the sisters the whole time. Sister L (prior companion) and L (MTC companion) were there, too, so that was fun, but also there were lots of sisters I have never met, but we all connected and had a grand time! So excited for future transfers to be able to get to know and work with these other sisters! 

Also be happy I am being put to good use. I led the caroling songs (about 7 songs) yesterday. My arm was tired by the end, but I was not nervous so it was good! :)

AND great news! I did not know for sure last Monday BUT WE HAVE SISTERS HERE IN CLOVIS!!! In my old apartment! I call them my sisters of salvation! Because I have NEVER served around sisters and this is an answer to my prayers! To be able to spend the holidays with them, and to be able to talk to them! Such a blessing in my life! Plus they are both new to the area and I know Clovis since I started there! That is another tender mercy. That I can actually help because Sister O is like me and just got done training and is now training Sister G. Everything happens for a reason and this is such a blessing in my life! We all drove together to Lubbock yesterday and I just love it! 

So this week has been amazing! But super abnormal too. Like I got thrown up on, by a lady's daughter during the prayer at the end of our lesson. Yep, right on my skirt! We went straight home and I showered. So great!

And Sara has been MIA until last night when she told us she has strep... So I'll keep you updated on that.

BUT the best news of all is our investigator C. His friend, a member, texted us and said her friend wanted to meet with us. So we did, and the first words out of his mouth were "If I join your church do I have to give up iced tea?" It really reminded me of Granddad and how he said that was the hardest thing to give up! He had dated a Mormon and knew a lot! And also some funny things too! Like he was CONVINCED we had a secret handshake in the church. Like to get into the temple we are all hip-bumping and pounding eachother to get through the doors. COULD YOU IMAGINE all those sweet old people doing a long involved hand shake of fun? Too great! So we met with him and last night had our 3rd and most amazing lesson! The Spirit was so strong and he admitted to himself that he knows this is true! It is seriously the most amazing thing! His current hang up is his family. His dad is a preacher, and all his friends are from Bible camps. He knows that he might lose everything for this decision. But he is willing to make it! He has been now contemplating BYU to get out of here, and I have told Cami to FB him. I just want to help him in ANY way that I can. This is such a hard step in his life, and I am so in awe of him! I am also trying to convince him to go on a mission! Wouldn't that be amazing! One day I hope to introduce you all to him. His conversion has been a life changing event for me. This Church is the one true Church, and this is the most amazing work in the world! I am just so grateful to be living my life in a way that Heavenly Father has blessed me with the opportunity to be His instrument. 

Well I could go on for hours, and can't wait to one day tell you of all my experiences, but I have to jet. I love you all! Merry Christmas! Today it is like 70 degrees, so enjoy the snow for me! Love you! xoxoxoxo

Monday, November 26, 2012

November 26, 2012


Sounds like you had quite the grand Thanksgiving! I am so sad I missed it, but am getting used to it :) It just didn't really feel like Thanksgiving without my family, but such is life currently. :) We did have a nice Thanksgiving. It started out with us going to A and E's house to help them with their Thanksgiving preparations. We had a nice time visiting with them. Then we stopped by a member family in our ward and met their daughter who goes to school in Arizona, and whom we had heard so much about. We then went to  our ward mission leader's house. He also has a daughter who is not of our faith, and we have been teaching. At this point I was pretty sad to not have my own family around, but they had invited 2 sisters in our ward, and one is going to school and in her like 50's and the other one, J, is military. I am so glad that they invited J because she is very loud and fun and welcoming and just made things feel at home. We stayed and ate (amazing food! EVERYTHING was homemade!) They also had prime rib because their son doesn't like turkey, so that was interesting, and I sure did miss Mom's frozen cranberry salad! We then went to Clovis to the church there and got together with the elders for some b-ball and games. I was pretty tired at that point, but had a nice day. The holidays are sure hard being away from home, but just one more round of these next year and I'll be staring Utah right in the face! That will be nice to look forward to! AND I am so SO excited for my call home! It is going to be here and gone so fast, but I'm anxious for Christmas to be able to call!  

Also Thanksgiving really didn't feel like Thanksgiving because temperatures here were in the high 70's!!! I didn't even wear a jacket or my boots to stay warm all day! It was super crazy! Christmas will probably be about the same! It really only gets chilly here when the wind blows, but I always just wear that red jacket you sent. Never so cold I need gloves or a real coat!
We had our transfer calls Saturday night and we are both staying. I almost wish I was going because I am ready to move on. I know that I am here for a reason though, and can see how there are certain investigators that I still need to help. I honestly am getting more and more attached here, and think it would just be easier to leave now though. But I'm not in charge. I do love this ward, and our investigators, and am just afraid of how hard it is going to be to leave in another 6 weeks!! The crazy part about transfers this time is that out of the 8 missionaries in our area 5 of them are leaving!! So that will be fun to meet the new elders.
Our investigators are doing well. We didn't see a lot of them this past week, since a lot of them left for the holiday or had family here for the holiday and so we are ready to hit it hard again this week. Also everyone is getting sick here too. I guess it's because it is super warm one day and then at night it is cold. Sister S got sick and is so kindly sharing with me :( but we are going to gear up on medicine and such today at the store.
Sara's new baptismal date is supposed to be Dec 1st, but she went out of town with her boyfriend (boo!) and never responded to any of our texts... So that is completely up in the air! But we are seeing miracles, and blessing come forth! One step at a time!
I love you all, and thank you for all your prayers and love!

Can you believe this week is December! Love you! xoxoxo

Sister Peterson
attached are pictures of our little district outside our house! Sorry the one with all of us is blurry! :)







Monday, November 19, 2012

November 19, 2012


My dearest Family!
Hello! How grateful I am to be here in this town. Just this past week it hit me that I am almost to my 6 month mark. Before I know it, it will be January 5th! And then I'm a 3rd of the way through! It really sent a shock through me and I realized that I need to enjoy more of the journey. After church yesterday I was talking to E and A (our two investigators who just need to get married but he said he is waiting to propose till Valentines) and a couple in our ward who have a son out on a mission. I can't remember who said it, but they said that I they hope I serve my whole mission here! A was adamant that I should, and was excited at that prospect! It hit me how much the people love me, and are getting to know me, and it made me realize I need to enjoy this ward and people while I can. We had 7 investigators at church yesterday and it was amazing! The work is really coming along. ALSO I have seen a visible change in the ward here since we first came in. They now pray in every meeting for the missionaries, and our ward mission leader told us the other day to slow down a bit-- teasing us for all the work we are doing. This ward had some major trust issues with missionaries when we first came in, due to trouble missionaries previously. But now: people are telling me to move back here when I'm done and I really do love them! So I am going to try and really focus on loving people!
We have transfers this Saturday, but it would be a shock if anything changes. This Thanksgiving we are going to the ward mission leaders house for dinner. We can only spend an allotted 2 hours there. So before that other families invited us over, but we will just stop by to say hi, and meet family members we have only ever heard about who will be in town for the holidays. And then at some point we will get together with the elders (they want to play football....) But other than that it should just be laid back. We aren't supposed to proselyte that day so I'll probably just think of how grateful I am to have a ward that is good, investigators to teach, food to eat, a roof over my head, and AMAZING family and friends back home who have not forgotten me: who pray for me, who care for me, and who keep me in their hearts as they are ever in mine! How grateful I am for the knowledge of the truth, and the path for true happiness.
As for things here: they are getting better. Slowly but surely. In companion inventory Friday Sister S and I finally actually communicated. She told me how she has trust problems, and doesn't trust me, but told me there is nothing I can do to help change that... And I told her how this lack of communication is so detrimental and is making life horrid. So we promised each other to try and really voice how we feel and really work on this. I was so nervous that Saturday nothing will have changed, but it did, not much, but enough to feel a change in the house. We talk more, and though I don't think our personalities are such that we will ever be bff's, we can still be successful and work in unity. I prayed long and hard (as usual) and found that we need to read the scriptures more together. So we've started that (and it really helps!!) And then I realized that we need a basis of understanding, so during our extended comp study, because she is training, I am going to think of activities we can do everyday that are fun to help relieve tension in our house. So this past week we made snowflakes one day, and a countdown to Christmas chain the next. It is a work in progress, and one that I know is only succeeding by divine help, and the prayers from you! I cannot see any other way that there is this change. I thank God everyday for my support team back home. I still don't understand why things had to be hell for these past 6 weeks, but one day I pray, God willing, I will know and see what I learned and how I grew.
Dad, we are the only sisters in all of our zone, so all of New Mexico, so no we do not get to go on splits. :(

God is good and even though we don't understand He always has OUR best interest at heart. I really wish I could be with you all this holiday season, but know that the time will come when we will be together again. And that time will be more sweet because of this time apart. I am grateful for the gospel, it is true! Jesus Christ lives! I am grateful for the way this has shaped my life, and for this opportunity to help others feel of that peace and comfort. I love you all and am so happy to know I will be with you for the eternities. Thank you for your prayers, I can feel them. Keep the faith!
Love Sister Peterson!
Pictures:
Me and the baby christmas tree the elders surprised us with!
Emily and her name tag (what a fun trio that would be!) and she made us hats! She is pro!

Monday, November 12, 2012

November 12, 2012


Hello!
I am happy I am not in Utah to hear about your snow and freezing temperatures! It is cold here , but not that cold. We haven't had any moisture, but the wind sure blows here! On Saturday it was so bad that at our investigator Sara's house a tree blew right over! We had just finished our lesson with her, and were at another lesson when she called us in a panic! She is down here at school, and didn't know who else to call. So we asked the people that we were currently teaching (two college girls) if they would mind, and they actually came with us. Sara was pretty overwhelmed, so I ended up calling the gas company and then they told me to call 911, since it fell right on the gas meter. The gas company guy did find a leak, so we were glad we called. It was quite the adventure! I attached pictures.
Lately on P-day it's been a running race. With all that we have to get done and then Sister S wants to do everything the elder's are doing and I look for ways everyday to try and make her happy, so we end up running all day. I honestly would just like to sit on my bed and write letters, but it's ok. I realized though this week that I need to send home more of my adventures. I STILL get letters with people commenting on my dead dog story! Yes I am that silly apparently! BUT most of my friends say they thought the same thing. It just shows how many kindred spirits I really have!
So updates on our Investigators: we had SIX at church yesterday, which was very happy! 4 of them want to be baptized, 3 of them need to marry their live-in's and the other one is Sara. No she did not get baptized this past week, but she did a lot of soul searching and knows that it is going to happen within the month. We have it set on Dec 1st because these next 2 week ends she will be out of town. We had some amazing lessons with her this week. I am so excited for her! I really am making friends for life, and my heart is getting attached.
We had zone conference this past week, and since we are the only sisters in all of New Mexico, that was fun. :) No the mission treats all the sisters really well, and President is wanting us to kick it up a notch and really show our loyalty to the Lord and really find those who are ready to be taught. It is always such an uplifting and powerful thing to get together with other missionaries, and to hear from President A.
My adventure for the week:
Ever since we moved here we have driven down this one road, it is the road we take to get to the main road in town. Well without fail at least once a day there are chickens, chickens crossing the road. Never in my life have a seen a chicken cross the road, but now I know EXACTLY where the joke comes from. So this time it's "why do the chickens cross the road?" "BECAUSE THE SISTER MISSIONARIES ARE COMING!"  -no lie. I had to honk today to get them out of the way.
I love you all, and look so forward to each Monday to hear from my family! I love you!  44 more days till we talk!!

xoxo Sister P.



Monday, November 5, 2012

November 5, 2012


Hello Family,
So things are looking up around here. I have found that the days that seem to be my very lowest, the days Satan is working on me the hardest are the days that as I hold on, things break through. Sister S and I are finally fine. We aren't best friends or anything, but we are fine companions. I think it was a lot that she is new, and so she was adjusting to missionary life. Now that she sees the way that things work, she is trying to help me carry the load. For the first time (I think) she finally sees everything that I am constantly thinking about and working on to help the work and our investigators. We talked about it this past week, and there is a lot less tension in the relationship.
I am still learning myself how to handle the daily stresses that come with missionary work, but I am working my hardest to rely on the Lord, and with Him get through the trials of each day. I know that it is the Holy Ghost that is the real teacher, and am just focusing on keeping the Spirit with me, and it will all work out. In my email back from President how training is going, I had told him how stressful it is, and he told me that I need to just concentrate on being a good missionary, not a perfect trainer, or whatever else I worry about, but just to be the best missionary I can possibly be. As I focus on that, things are coming together. I can't control our inv. or my companion, or the situations that come up, but I can control myself.  I am just so grateful for all the support I have from all the people who love me, at home and out here. We were at our investigator's house, John (he has a problem with the Book of Mormon) but as I closed our lesson with a prayer, I asked that our families would be safe as they are far away from all of us who were in the room. After the prayer, he said "Sister Peterson, your family is not far away!" -I thought, I know they aren't across the whole United States (he's from Florida) but Utah is still far! and as I gave him a confused look he replied, "Your family is here, all around you." Meaning the people I am teaching and have grown to love, the people in the ward, and those people who I am around daily. I feel like I constantly learn more from my investigators than they learn from me. It is a true testimony that though I am here doing God's work, He has not left me alone, but is extremely mindful of me, and what I also need. Because little did John know, but that pierced my heart, because it is true. :)
Ok... about the baptism with Sara this weekend. Yesterday she brought this boy to church with her, and last night when we went over for  our lesson, he was there again cooking in her kitchen. So when we first get there she says to us that she has been thinking about it and wants to wait to be baptized until THE SPRING! She said that she feels too stressed right now, and then it will be thanksgiving, and then finals and so she just thinks the spring will be good! :( We talked it out and I asked if she had received that answer in prayer, and so she said she will pray about it and tell us her answer on Wednesday! :( But as we kept talking to her, it comes out that this boy is her boyfriend and he has no interest in the church, and she said that they are now looking for a church that they BOTH want to go to!!! Mind you she has only been dating this boy for 2 days!! :(Stupid boys ruin everything!) The most ridiculous part about it is that when we taught her like the 2nd time she was having boy troubles with another guy and she said she prayed about it and felt like she shouldn't have a boyfriend right now! And then this!! Satan is working on her, so we just keep praying, because we have done all we can do. Grrrr. So we'll see. I'll let you know!
Anyhow that's all for this week! We have been meeting some amazing prepared people! I'll update you next week!
I love you all! thanks for all the support from those I love!
xoxoxo-Sister P.

Monday, October 29, 2012

October 29, 2012


Hello!
 
I can't wait to see all the kiddles costumes! Oh how I love this holiday.
 
Also we have a car. All the sisters do. We have a Thursday mission wide "bike" day. So since Sister S is here we have had our first bike day this past Thursday was our second. I think it is getting too cold and windy to probably continue until spring but we will see. The GPS is extremely nice since there are a lot of weird roads and you know how good I am with directions....
 
Dad: thanks for that thought about mounds and mountains. Things if not getting better are not as pressing on me. It is the quote that pops into mind about it "That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased." -Heber J. Grant. So no things are awesome or fun with Sister S. I honestly can't figure it out. I just think it is a personality difference. She is just very short with me and I can't place my finger right on it but maybe she's just negative? I just keep praying for love and even though I sometimes get shut down when I am just trying to be nice, I am going to persist. My current big issue is that I haven't been sleeping well at night. Sister S is a very active sleeper: tossing and turning every 10 minutes, popping her knuckles, all while asleep. Then this past week she has taken on sleep talking. Once she wakes me up I am up for about an hour trying to fall back to sleep, so I am up for about 2 hours a night. This makes me feel very grumpy in the morning and makes for long days. Last Monday I bought ear plugs hoping that would solve the problem, but it hasn't. Then I would sleep on the couch, but still couldn't sleep. So I finally called the mission president's wife (yes I feel like one of those annoying sister missionaries) and she suggested melatonin. I've been taking that the past two nights with not help there either. I talked to her again this morning and she said maybe Sister S should take the melatonin and she wouldn't be so active. But I asked Sister S and she replied, "I'm not the one with the problem sleeping!" So I'm sure that things are really alright, but my lack of sleep doesn't help me. I am trying hard, but know that with prayer and faith it will all be ok. Even if the situation and our relationship never gets better I can still be happy. Like dad said it is a choice. So I keep a happy thought with me all day. I wish that we would have an open relationship, but when I once asked her, after she said something snappy like that to me, if she was upset, she said "no". So either she is and doesn't want to talk about it, or that is just the way she is. So I just take one day at a time. And remembering that I am here for the people we are teaching, not because it is a vacation. :)
 
And talking about days I realized this past week that in a short 2 months I get to talk to you on the phone!!! 57 days from today! I'm very excited!
 
Well I dunno what else to say! Stay warm, I love you all! Happy Halloween!! xoxoxo- Sister P.
 

Monday, October 22, 2012

October 22, 2012


Hello!

Yes, Dad training is EXTREMELY hard! On Friday I had the hardest day I have had yet on my mission. I cried all morning until about noon. Background: I went to Lubbock with Sister L on Wednesday to pick up Sister S. She grew up in Alaska, and funny thing: when I was trying to think of positives with S. L, I said "What if she is a cosmetologist!" On the car ride home I asked her what she did before the mission and she said she is in fact a cosmetologist!!!

But being in charge is hard. Especially for the first time, with someone who doesn't know what's going on. Then to add on top of that, Sister S is a VERY private person. As in she eats meals everyday in her room with the door shut. I tried all Thursday to get to know her, and then felt like she hated me. So Friday when I woke up, it was all too much. Satan was working hard on me. I told Sister S that I didn't think I could do this:  be here for 12 weeks with someone who won't talk to me. Friday was just a very hard day, but that night Sister S finally opened up to me and told me that she thought training was hard because of her. As I explained all that I have to worry about and do, she then I think realized the weight that I felt on my shoulders. So things got better. Honestly, it is still really hard to be home for meals. We just have VERY different personalities. When I tell her I will be right back because I have to go to the bathroom, her comment is always, "no" or "nope". And I know that is her way of teasing, but it is really hard, I can feel the difference by what she says. I honestly don't think she thinks I know what I am talking about. BUT------- I have come to terms with it. Heavenly Father has us here for a reason, and this is something I have always hated: not being best friends with the people I am around. You aren't going to be chums with every single companion. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy, and that we can't work well together, because we do. She is very spiritual, and we teach well together, and are both very motivated.

I felt really bad for making her feel like she was why training is hard, but I was talking to an AP today on the phone and he asked how it was going. I told him "good" and he said "'Oh really? I trained right after being trained and that first week was the hardest week of my mission, to be in charge when you have never been before." That made me feel a lot better. I have also been able to grow relationships with the members, and the other missionaries in our district and zone leaders. Not in a "Forget Sister S"  kind of way, but a "help us all together" kind of way. I am praying everyday for more charity, and know that it will come, that Heavenly Father is refining me. 

Mom, I am grateful for your letter this week. I really needed that just to keep my spirits up. To answer about that obedience thing. Here's the back story for that: We in this house have a washer and drier. Well the elders when we moved into the house asked Sister L if they could continue to do their laundry here. She said yes, and I respected her role as senior companion, though she knew how I felt about obedience. Elders in our mission are not supposed to be in the sister's apartments at all. So when I got the call to be senior, I told the elders that we were going to be exactly obedient in my companionship. They threw up a HUGE fuss, but I told them it is not because I don't love them, but because I want the blessings of being obedient, and if they did get it approved from President that was fine. They didn't. And at transfers in Lubbock, President called me over to talk to him and stressed obedience. I told him I had already taken care of it. THEN yesterday, one of the members in my ward, who houses  elders in one of their trailer houses, told me that the elders told her about the laundry thing. I told her I was trying to be obedient and she said she didn't realize it was a rule!!! The elders had just complained to her and didn't explain why!! She then told me that they had complained so much that her husband feels bad and is going to buy them a washer and drier! This makes me so upset because it is not the member's responsibility! And then today I get a call from a set of elders and they tell me that they haven't found somewhere to do laundry and tried to bully me into letting them do it at our house. So then I'm all upset and call my district leader, who was then picking sides out of friendship. So he told me that if I was upset to call the AP's, which I did and they were so supportive and got it taken care of. I am just grateful that Sister S wants to be obedient like me!!!

SO LIFE IS CRAZY HERE!! But with the bitter comes the sweet and we have a handful of AMAZING INVESTIGATORS!  We set a baptismal date with one of them, Sara a college student, this past week for November 10th!!! She has been so prepared and we are so excited for her. She received awesome answers to her prayers, and I think we will be friends for life! It is so amazing to see the change the gospel can have with people!!
And I think that's it! I love you all and know that God has a plan for each one of us! I pray for you often and am so grateful for your support!
Love Sister P.

Monday, October 15, 2012

October 15, 2012


Man, do I have news for you this week!! Remember how I commented that at some point I could be training a 19 year old???? Well, I'm not training a 19 year old, but transfer calls came and I'M TRAINING!!!!! I'm staying here, and Sister L is transferring to be companions with none other than my MTC companion! And lucky ol' me (I'm scared to death!!) will be picking up my greenie tomorrow: Sister S from Sandy, Utah. And that's all I know about her! President calls the trainers to give them the news and I was shocked when he called me! I seriously just finished training! But I know that with Christ, I can do all things, so I'm choosing to have faith instead of fear, and just praying that Sister S and I will be able to make this all work! It is scary not knowing who this girl is, and then having to be in charge and lead her too! But I do know that this is God's will, whether I am supposed to learn and grow lots in trials, or in good times it will be for my benefit! But CRAZY RIGHT?!  Who knows what this week will hold.

On the flip side, I know I will be here for the next 2 transfers while I train so I will be here for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

I am sad that Sister L and I are splitting, change is hard, and it is scary when I don't know what to expect! But I think this is the next step for me to grow and learn more. I am just nervous because the "mission mojo" says that everyone's first transfers are always hard with investigators. I've seen it. My first one we didn't get anyone to progress. We have about 3 stellar investigators right now, so I'm just nervous to see what happens. I've decided that I'm going to be exactly obedient, and leave it in the Lord's hands. Right now I'm having a hard time with that, I know it is Satan working on me, but I've already told the Elders that my companionship is going to be following certain rules, that we were not before (Sister L was the senior, and no, the rules aren't anything huge, but I gave her that respect to lead our companionship), but now I am already getting opposition from my district. But I can only put my trust in the Lord. That is the only way I will get blessings as a missionary. Not by doing the "cool" thing and being lax on certain things. It's hard, but it's all I can do. It does bring me lots of comfort to know that Mitch, and Jordan and lots of my girlfriends have served missions. No, I don't know what kind of missionaries they were, but I know what kind of people they are. So if they can do this, I can do this!

 I thought my exciting news for the week would be that I had a fun adventure at a pumpkin patch this week... Little did I know! But I am sending pictures! Our ward mission leader knows this farmer, and after they go through and harvest THIS is the leftovers that they will just go to waste! So we got to go and pick some! SO FREAKING FUN! and so much orange! I've never seen so much in my life! This country life is really fun! :) I love you all! Can't wait to hear from you soon! Mom, I'll probably want a letter from you in the mail this week, since my life is going to be CRAZY-TOWN!
 
And the last pic is of our district. Yes, really classic, but at least I look semi ok right? gag!
love you alll!!!!!!!!!! xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoox
 
 





Monday, October 8, 2012

October 8, 2012

First off:

Conference: AMAZING!!! We watched it at the church and there were about ten of us there on each Sunday session, and only us missionaries on Saturday. (excluding the member of the bishopric who had to come and be with us during each session) The Sunday sessions we had 2 investigators at the first session and one at the second! The spirit was amazing, and they said they liked it. Especially President Monson's since they could see that he is a real person!
And with his first announcement there was a sure shock in the room, but we could feel the excitement! I guess I'll be possibly training a 19 year old at some point! So crazy! Especially because when all my friends at 19 were leaving I was so jealous, so that is so cool for all those sisters right now!! It just shows how we are in the latter days! Jacob 5 talks all about this and especially verses 61-62!! Sister L. is pretty sure China is gonna open up soon, so we need more missionaries to cover that too!!

Conference was all about aligning our will with God's and is something that I am really going to try and work on. To leave behind my previous life, as talked about by Elder Holland. To not be a fisherman anymore but a fisher of men. And with that I decided I need to have complete and full purpose of heart, so I decided to just write friends at the end of each month. I still want and love letters, but this way I am not writing all Monday, and not wishing I could be back home. So don't stop the letters by any means, just know that I am not ignoring anyone, the letters are coming, just not as frequently.

Last week we went right after grocery shopping to FEED BABY COWS!!! Life goal done!! I have pictures to send! It was like Christmas morning I was so excited!

Also, I've been hating my clothes and having dreams about shopping, and we stopped at a consignment store here, and I bought 3 new cute skirts for $11. Happy day!!

This was a crazy busy week: with cows, and conference, and then we had interviews with President on Wednesday. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect, but it went well. President was so supportive and is just so nice. It was good to talk to him, and hear how I can improve and be better.

Yes transfers are next week on Tuesday. This Saturday at 9 pm they call to tell us what we are doing. Sister L. thinks she is leaving because she had a dream about it. I really do love this girl, and we do have similar likes and senses of humor, so if we do separate I will be sad. But I'm also ready for more. So we'll see what happens. It's not in my hands anyway.

Sister L. is doing better. We are working hard, and seeing great things happen here! The thing that has hit me most this week, since the bishop here asked us to go see some Less Actives, is that people are just lonely. If they had a friend they would not be in the place they are. So my push to each of you is to do your home/visiting teaching! To not just go and check it off your list but get to know the person and love them! It would help the world be a better place, and help us missionaries out too!

Hope you know how much I love you all! Sorry for being a slacker this week! and I hope you like my pictures! I am so grateful for family and friends who are so supportive and loving! I hope you know how grateful I am for every little thing you do for me! The Church is True.

Keep the Faith!
Love Sister P.

Oh ps pictures: me feeding a new born (like a few hours old) with the owner's son. He was 4 and knew everything about the farm! Then we helped fill up the bottles and distribute them into their little holes in the cow homes. Super fun! With my whole district.

Also I am growing out my bangs, this is Sister L and I doing our pretty faces. Don't you want to hear about the gospel from us beauties?!

And my shrine to my nieces and nephews :)













Monday, October 1, 2012

October 1, 2012


HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!
First off I want to share something I am so excited about with you: I GET TO FEED A BABY COW A BOTTLE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Since this is dairy land I have been dreaming about these cute little calves. And yesterday the EQ President came up to me and told me that he heard I wanted to feed a bottle to one (this has not been something I have kept secret!) And he told me that they feed them everyday at 2 and that I could come over!!! He said they also feed them at 4 AM and I told him I'd be there at 2 :) I have been so excited all morning! I cannot wait! (yes it will probably be stinky, but I am still so excited! I will send lots of pictures next week!)

And the RS broadcast was great! We went and had baked potatoes with the ward, and had 1 inv. with us. The funny thing was that we had a mix up with a new satellite thing so we ended up watching it on the bishop's I-pad. A new experience for me! A lot of women left and went home to watch it on TV, but there were like 10-15 of us who stayed and watched it like that! Every day is an adventure out here! 
I had a really tough week this week. Not even sure exactly why, since the work is moving nicely along (5 inv at church on Sunday and such amazing spiritual lessons!), but I cried a lot the beginning of the week. I started wearing waterproof mascara because I was so emotional. And it all led down to homesickness. Missions are hard, and I never have done well with being away from home, we all know I cried every time I went to girls camp, even when Mom, Dad, and Cami were all there. But we are given trials to humble us, to stretch, and strengthen us. And I am feeling MUCH MUCH better. When there is a problem in life prayer is the cure. And everyday it has gotten a bit easier, though I was still so excited to write today. :)

Sister L is doing much better. We saw the therapist on Friday, and the day or two leading up to that she really pulled back. She was not very social, and was really nervous. But prayers were yet again answered, and she was able to open up to him, and talk to him. He is the therapist for this mission and quite a few other ones (like Oklahoma too) and is based out of Lubbock. He will drive to see her every other week, and gave us homework until then. He actually told her to tell me a lot of the things he teaches so I can benefit from them too. I am excited to grow from this too. He told her that sister missionaries really work differently and have to have different support to work well. We aren't boys and don't work like they do. So we are working on transforming our companionship to work more efficiently, and he is working with her to reduce her stress. He said that by he end she will be sleeping through the night (right now she only gets about 2 hours a night.) He also said a great quote "If you're out here for a baptism you are out her for the wrong reason." Perspective is everything.
I was so excited to write home today! Because I love you all and miss our quirky family! Thank you for all your support and constant prayers and fasting. I can feel the love all the way down here! Until next week:
xoxo Sister Peterson!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

September 24, 2012


Hello-
 
Some weeks I'm just more homesick than others. And sometimes people say "oh I don't want to make you homesick by telling you too much about home etc." but it is actually worst for me when I don't think or talk about or look at pictures from home. Weird right? So I look at the pictures I have on the wall, and Sister L is so good and I think has caught on and asks me about home. I think it is just a stress release for me, and helps me to chill. But the weeks that are especially hard are the ones that Sister L is so sick and we spend a lot of time inside. When I am busy and out working the weeks go by fast, and are so fulfilling, but with everything going on lately that is not everyday.

So like I said Sister L has not been sleeping. And on Tuesday after District meeting her face and ears were hot and she had rashes. We called Sister Augustin, and she took benadryl, and then could not sleep one bit that night because she was congested and couldn't breathe. (yes I worry about her not sleeping and lately have not had very restful sleep.) But then in the early morning she took more Benadryl and then slept in until 1:15 that afternoon. She always stays in bed for a long time, and I still just get up at 6:30 and go in the living room and do as much quiet exercising as I can. I try and strengthen my back, since I have pain there, and do lots of sit ups. This week I realized I can "jump rope" (I don't actually have a jump rope) in one corner of the room where it doesn't make the floor squeak. That has been a good work out. :) So I do that for a half hour then shower and get ready for an hour. Then at 8 with my cereal in hand (or oatmeal, you should be so proud) I pray and start personal study. Then at 9 is comp study where we read out of the white handbook and sing a hymn and prepare for our lessons. The first 12 weeks of a mission the new missionary is "training" so we have a training book that tells us what to focus on for the week and we have 2 hours of comp study instead of the one. So we do that until 11. Then have lunch usually and go teach until dinner then go out again until 9 and then come home, plan, get ready for bed, and lights out at 10:30.

But on the other side of things, this place is booming! We have about 5 progressing inv. and we met with one girl Ashley yesterday and she told us how much she loves the Book of Mormon. We have met with her once before and at that appointment we gave her Alma 32 to read and she said she read it like over 5 times. She is just so hungry for the gospel. We are so excited for her, but we just have to help her boyfriend see how important it is too. And seriously can I tell you how much I hate that people live together! We have another couple we are teaching who are living together too (they have 2 kids) and the whole need to get married to be baptized thing is throwing everything off! Marriage is a big deal so they don't take it lightly. Stupid Satan and the modern world of living together!! gah!

Anyhow, that is my basic schedule. Mondays we are free after we comp study for an hour, and then we email and go shopping and then have to go out to teach again at 6. Tuesdays we have District meeting from 10-11:30 at the church. Wed at 11 we come and email President for an hour and go on Mormon.org or LDS.org. Then Thursdays nothing, Fridays we weekly plan till like 2. And Saturdays nothing. Then Church on Sunday at 10:15. There is the Spanish branch who starts church at 9 and then we come and have sacrament last. yep. That's life here in the land of enchantment.

Love you all!
Until next week
Sister. P.

Monday, September 17, 2012

September 17, 2012


Thank you so much for putting Sister L's name on the temple roll. She just said thank you so much. She has improved this week, but still is not sleeping much. She is getting a cold too, so that doesn't help. Did I tell you I fasted for her this past Monday? I haven't shared that with her yet, I am waiting for the appropriate time. She doesn't like that she is sick and then to add upon that she doesn't like that others worry and care about her. She is pretty independent, but she's stuck with me, so she's got to let me love her whether she wants it or not.
The weather here got cold this week. (we are only talking about in the 50's) But we were way cold. It is colder when you can't wear pants! We turned off the AC and brought out our winter jackets. It was raining and windy, but that was only middle of last week. Now it is sunny and warm again.
We had an amazing week. We had 3 inv. at church on Sunday and have about 5 people that are really progressing and we can see the way that this message is impacting their lives. This is an amazing work and this place is so prepared! I am so grateful to be a part of these people's lives and helping them come closer to the Savior. Some of them have addictions to overcome, and life changes to make, but I know that God can cause miracles in peoples lives.
Funny story from this week:
We went to stop by an inv. house to see how her and her husband are doing. When she answered the door she told us that it was not a good time and to come back later. We asked her if everything was alright and she told us, "We lost our dog last night, we'd had her for ten years." To which we reply that we are so sorry and if there is anything we can do to help we are here, and as we are about to go I say, "hopefully you find her!" To which I get a weird look, but we leave. After she closed the door Sister Lao turns to me and said "THEiR DOG IS DEAD! NOT LOST!" (I am so totally blonde!!!) I seriously thought the dog ran away, and thought (but gratefully didn't say) that since they had had it for 10 years it should know the way home. Yep, I am that cool. I laughed so hard that whole night, and yet again am laughing. At least I really care about people right?!?
I love you all! And am loving how busy we are here!  Thanks for all your love and prayers!
xoxo- Sister P.

Monday, September 10, 2012

September 10, 2012


Hello From the Land of Enchantment!!!!
Well this week has been an interesting one. I feel like I don't have a week go by that things happen as I would expect them to. But that is the way of mission life, and I'm coming to expect the unexpected.
We are teaching this family right now and I am actually super excited about it. Our first week here, we were going through a list of former inv. and went to go see some lady named Sandy. Well, Sandy had moved and Rudy and Lisa live in her house. Rudy answered the door and told us that right now was not a good time (the common answer) and set up an appointment for us to come back. We weren't expecting much, since everyone says that and then usually blows us off. But when we went the Spirit was SO strong, and I knew that they have been prepared for the gospel. After that amazing lesson, when we went over for our second lesson I was SO NERVOUS. Since I have been out on my mission we haven't had any progressing inv. so no one will consistently come to church or do any of the commitments like read the scriptures or pray. (this is one reason I was excited to be here in this town) And each time before that we had an inv. that was actually progressing they would call us and drop us. This has now happened twice before and once here. Satan is so evil! So I was so worried that this was going to happen again. And when we went to that second appointment, no one answered the door, so I was sure it was doomed. :( BUT all is well, because we went to visit someone else and on our drive back, we saw that their front door was open, so we stopped by. And they weren't avoiding us! Rudy had been asleep and Lisa forgot and went to the library! But the lesson went well again! The Lord is really preparing people for us, and I am so happy to be here.

Funny story:
One night we went to go see a member, but couldn't find the road she lives on. We were in the dark, and basically lost, so we prayed to be able to find the road or to be lead to where we needed to be. After our next turn we found it. (miracle of being a missionary!!) So anyhow onto the funny part. We got lost again on her street and thought we might have the wrong house because the car's plate said North Dakota and we knew the lady was from Idaho. So I said maybe the house number is mixed up, so we drove down the street a little bit, and as we are looking at houses, this man who had been standing outside came over and knocked on our window. He was just making sure we weren't "casing the houses" but then we explained that we are missionaries and how we are lost and started talking to him. He said he was interested in coming to church and such, and then at the end of our conversation he stared asking about the car: "Is this a rental? or do you own this car?" and we told him it is owned by the Church. His response to that was, "Oh! You guys are so lucky. Mormon's only have bikes!"  To which we started laughing and told him WE are Mormons!!! He was so embarrassed! And told us that he wasn't sure he wanted to come to church anymore because now he doesn't believe what we believe (whatever that means, 2 seconds ago we're all good, we mention our church's nickname and it's all over?) But we addressed his concerns and so he's not weirded out anymore. BUT SO FUNNY!
And the end of this week, Sister L had a kidney infection. She has always had weak kidneys, and with how stressed out she is, it just flared up again. So Saturday and Sunday we stayed inside all day. It is teaching me a lot of charity, and how to serve, and I am just so grateful that I do not have such problems. It makes her throw up, and she has lost 4 pounds this weekend. She also can't sleep because her back hurts where her kidney's sit, and her stomach hurts because of her kidneys too. We did go to Stake Conference on Sunday though, and a member drove us. It was all the way down in Roswell, and was nice. The Augustin's were there and spoke, and afterwords I made Sister L spill things out for S. Augustin. She is so SO sick. I am fasting for her today, because she is so miserable. But I feel better now that someone else knows so that it can be taken care of. :(
Family and Friends: I was reading in this past Conference Ensign and read  Was it Worth it by Elder David F. Evans. THIS TALK IS AMAZING! I urge each one of you to re-read it and to apply it to your lives. Just like it says: it doesn't matter if we are reactivating a less active member, or sharing the gospel with friends who do not have the truth, it is all the same in the Lord's eyes. This is the great work that we can all take a part in!
So to explain a few of the pictures:
 The black cat is Samuel. We named him after Samuel the Lamanite. The elders found him on the side of the road, and thought dropping him off at our house would take care of our mouse problem. It was out of the kindness of their hearts that they dropped the cat off, BUT it was a kitten, and cried like all night. So after a half hour of that, we called the elders and told them to come get the cat. PLUS the cat across the street decided to attack the kitten and it was just maddness until the elders came about an hour later to get the poor thing. So much drama!

The spider (yes that huge ugly thing!) is another gift from the other elders. They were driving down the street and saw it going across the road so they thought they would catch it and bring it to us (so nice right?) Sister L actually likes spiders so she thinks this is cool, and I in fact do not. We named it Charlotte as in Charlotte's web, and took pictures with it. (not my favorite day)
Then there is my district, before transfers.
The L family (a mom and her 3 daughters) live here, and are members. She invited all of the Korean exchange students to her house for a lesson. One of these things in the picture is not like the other... any guesses? ;) 
And I think that's it!!
Love you all!!! xoxoxoxo! 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

September 5, 2012


Hello Utah!
Since Monday was Labor Day we just couldn't email since the libraries were all closed, but we still had P-day. Which includes cleaning the house, laundry, writing letters, and grocery shopping. Then we usually get together with the elders at some point and do something. This week they made us a smoothie, and we went to a big baptist church and played pool in their activities room,  with one of their investigators. The activities place is kinda an after school program building to keep the kids there out of trouble. Being there just reminded me of a well run business as she was explaining how things ran. So interesting.
Wednesdays we always write President, so we just are emailing families today too.
The ward here is quite small. I asked a girl if there were a lot of people missing since it was labor day weekend, and she said no. Seriously it was about the size of our chapel, with the curtain closed, and enough room between each family that everyone could have fit in just the big center rows. (I might exaggerate a little) But small.
With sisters not serving here in the last about 17 years, our area book needs a little TLC. Sister L and I are not super stoked about having to organize and get the ward pumped, everything we just did in our last place, but I realized the other day that maybe that is something God has given me and though it stinks not to be able to bask in our organized, trained area: I am not here to lay back and relax. So if I can be used, and work in this way, then I'll do it. :)
I luckily am dealing with this all really well, my stress is fine, except when Sister L. has a little break down and I think I have to do it all alone. Then I pray and I'm good. Really I have been blessed to know how my body is feeling so I can address my stress as it comes up.
I know we are out in the middle of no where, but I love it! There is a college here, and every day I am jealous of the college students. I miss school. But it is fun to be in a college community where there is so much life!
Anyhow!

I love you all!! Can't wait to hear from you again... until next week! xoxoxo

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

August 27, 2012


Hello Everyone!
 
I am going to type as fast as I can because I have quite the stories to tell you!
 
Last Saturday we got a call from our apartment Maintenance man. After he fixed our sink about a month ago, we set up an appointment, but it was really awkward, and all he wanted to do was bash. So we didn't try to teach him again. Then about a week or so ago he came and fixed another part of our bathroom, and asked us if we could date as missionaries, and we explained our call. So on Saturday we missed a call from him while we were in a lesson. When we got in the car I handed the phone to Sister L and said "Your turn." When he answered he told her he was lonely and wanted to hang out with us. She explained to him our purpose as missionaries, and he then told her that our church was wrong because we have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth, and he asked her if she would ever be interested in him (mind you he is like in his 30's and has a 10 year old child, and is yuck). So she told him no, and then he continued to bash the church and told her that we are wrong for being missionaries, and wouldn't let her cut the conversation off, so she then hung up on him. We then called our District Leader who told us to call President. It wouldn't have been THAT big of a deal, but this man has a key to our apartment!! So President told us he did not want us staying in the apartment and wanted us at a hotel. So we had to pack up stuff and go find a hotel. We then had to wait to find out what President decided for us. Everything was up in the air. He told us Sunday that he wanted to wait till Monday when Sister L ct results (she was in a car accident and has back problems and weak kidneys, then recently has had debilitating abdominal pains) came back to tell us where he was going to move us since we couldn't live in that apartment anymore. So we stayed in the hotel Sunday night too. Then on Monday when the results came back that everything was fine (basically stupid results, because she isn't fine... anyhow) President decided to move us to another town 20 minutes south. One of his councilors, President T, lives there and they have NEVER had sisters in that ward before.Crazy right?!

It has been really hard, because last Sunday we got a new Ward Mission Leader and we met with him, and he is really going to change things. We were SO excited to work with him!! And after I emailed you about doing laundry a lady in the ward called and said she wanted us to do laundry at her house for free!! But I do know that if Heavenly Father wanted us there this would not have happened. It all happens for a reason, and not going to lie, none of our investigators were progressing. Out of all of our lessons two weeks ago, only 2 out of them didn't cancel on us. We just have a hard time with people there making commitments. So I think that Heavenly Father had us do what we were supposed to, and then move on. We changed the area book a ton and updated that, and then we also showed/trained the Ward Misson Leader into what is ideal. Seriously we had a two hour training/meeting with him Sunday night, and Monday night we got the news we were leaving. So sad. 

This area is a lot greener and more established than our other area was. We had the south side (the ghetto, literally). People would always tell us to be careful, and most of the people were on parole. Yep crazy. But this is a college town, and so we will be able to work with more singles, (no singles ward though) and there are alot more trees and GRASS!! We ate at a members house this past week and she told us that she told her husband if they were moving to NM that she had to have grass. And have grass she did! He babies it for her, but she said she doesn't have to water it more than anyone else, but that they have to get stickers and stuff out. She told us to take off our shoes and walk in it, and I was more than happy to! I miss green!!

Anyhow I have pictures to attach. The Spanish Elders were living in it before (and though they are offended to think that they are dirty, we had to wipe the WHOLE PLACE down). And as fun as that is, we found a little visitor on Saturday night. Yep, a mouse. The elders keep saying "we never saw a mouse when we lived there." Well, of course not, you lived in a pig sty, and once we cleaned everything they had to come out in search of food. So we went to Walmart, because as I was standing on the couch and repeating "THIS IS NOT OK," and we bought 6 mouse traps. I woke up that night at about 12:30 and could hear one in our room, so I woke Sister L up and we went searching for it, but it must have been in the walls or something, but we did see its bite marks on some of her stuff on the floor. (YUCK!!) And at that time we checked the traps and had caught one. SO GROSS! Luckily the elders like us enough to come and get rid of it for us in the morning. We also caught another one last night. Seriously this is so gross. It makes me so not happy, but I'm looking at it like an adventure. Right?! The house is actually better than our old apt, and the ward here is amazing. I got the welcome yesterday in this ward I thought I would have gotten before, but really it is just because they have never had sisters before.

So I'm about out of time. But I'm excited for this next part of the mission, a new adventure. :) Love you all!
 

Our new place

Sister L and me